You never expect yourself to be the one who leaves. You read hundreds of letters and poems and stories about heartbreak, about someone walking away, about the aftermath, but you never think about being the one to walk away. You never think about being the villain, the cause of the broken heart.

So here's to the ones who walked away, the ones who realized that something wasn't quite right, the ones who had the courage to take the step they needed to, to start that difficult conversation. Because it isn't easy for anyone. It isn't easy to be the one making that decision, the one trying to explain why. It isn't easy feeling guilty about breaking the heart of someone you care deeply about, leaving for the sake of saving yourself.

To leave is not evil, is not inherently cruel, is not vilifying. Trust your heart, trust your gut, and do what you need to in order to be, to save yourself.

10 comments add comment

  • anonymous lover
6 months ago

thank you so much for this

I broke my last boyfriend's heart because it wasn't right, and I knew I could never marry him.

I didn't want to keep stringing him on, even though I cared about him so much. I loved him, but it wasn't right.

Thank you for writing this. I have to forgive myself.

  • Cara
6 months ago

This so needed to be said.

Heartbreak occurs on both ends, and being the one to leave hurts in a different way than being the one on the other end, but usually the heartbreak is just as painful and just as lasting.

At least it was for me.

  • anonymous lover
6 months ago

I needed to hear this so badly, thank you

  • L
6 months ago

If there's anyone here can you tell me how to do it? I feel stuck like I would have to choose between myself or him being happy. I've distanced myself so far hoping he would realize what I have already realized. That we don't understand each other at all. That we have different priorities. That we want different things. I don't know what else to do please help.

  • anonymous lover
6 months ago

thank you so much for this

  • anonymous lover
6 months ago

Heartbreak is a term may understand.

Deep love is a term not many have felt.

I left a deep love and broke both of our hearts, but something was wrong enough for me to make myself leave.

I left not for the 19 year old me, I left for the 30year old me. The woman who would regret sticking with the wrong man. The woman who would wish she found an honest man.

So love, heartbreak, it is all responsibility.

And I have to believe that the end resul of both is joy

  • T. Coffee Bean
6 months ago

Thank you so much for writing this. I'm so glad other people understand how absolutely heartbreaking it is to be the one who has to cause pain. But we always have to remember to take care of ourselves first.

  • The server of divorce papers
5 months ago

Thank you so much, I needed this validation!

  • E
5 months ago

I needed to hear this so badly. I left because I couldn't see us getting married and I wanted him to have that magic with someone else. I miss him so much, every day, and I love him so much, but I had to walk away. And it hurts like heartbreak but you know, deep down, it was right.

  • anonymous lover
5 months ago

I didn't realize how many people there are who are all in the same boat as me. Thank you. I never realized how awful it felt to be the one to break it off. The fear and anxiety, the "what if I stuck it out" but I hate lying about love and... well I hope all of us will heal and hopefull heal soon because this sure hurts

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