If I could push a button to simply be deleted from the universe then I might do it. My willingness to die isn’t nonexistent, but my willingness to live is slowly decreasing. Being simply nonexistent would be it. I guess you could say I’m depressed. And nobody knows it. You know what? I’m not going to push that button. Life can hit me as hard as it wants and I’m not going to lose. When you treat it like a competition, I won’t resign. Nobody should ever say that it’s okay to lose. Now I need to maintain this resolution. But I’m still human. This is difficult. I know the right choice and I hope I make it but I will need your help. Please know that I am really on edge right now. Things don’t look bright. I hope I can push past all this, but it’s difficult. Someone help me. My family seriously irritates me. Just as I typed that sentence my brother threw some food because he didn’t like it. Now he’s crying because “it’s not his fault.” What a joke that is. I’m done, simply done with them. Since I can’t die, the only other options are to fight against it or run. I’ve already tried fighting, so maybe I should fight harder, because I can’t run. I have too much to lose, including you. I don't know what to do anymore.