at least i can say that i loved you as much i could. that i didn't give up on our problems, on trying to work things out, on loving you as much as i could. it was only until i realized that we had a problem that neither of us could fix.
i couldn't make you love me back. and it's something i learned the hard way.
i so desperately wanted for us to work out. perhaps it was that hope that my first love would be my last. i think i just thought you were just a really great person and to lose you would be terrible. i wanted to hold on to you, but you couldn't love me back. especially when you didn't love yourself. and i get it.
it's not something i can change or force on you. and even though i get it. it hurts so much. and it's probably just the withdrawals of not having you here anymore. it makes me feel like i'm dying at times - suffocating in your absence.
but i know... i'll get over it. and time will pass. and i will move on, get better, and things will be okay. eventually. and they'll be okay for you too. (: and i trust that one day, we'll both be okay. and as much as i deserve someone who loves me wholly, you do too. and i hope that at that point, maybe you'll be able to do the same.
i love you. and i miss you. but we weren't meant for each other.