I'm going to tell you a story. A personal one. And I share with the hopes that you will continue to embrace the vulnerability of love... regardless of heart break.
I was someone who never had a sifnificant other. Not in middle school. No date to the 8th grade dance. Not in high school. No one asked me to prom. In fact, I was madly in love with a guy who just couldn't love me back. I went to college thinking it was finally my chance. I craved human touch. I often imagined what it would feel like to be held, or kissed, or touched. I wanted so desperately to understand love. Bathe in it. Cherish it. Because my whole life I was surrounded by beautiful friends who always seemed to have "someone". And I was always the person who had "no one". College came and went, and still... No magic. No love interest. No one seemed to have any interest in me at all, in fact. And it was a blow to my self-esteem. Because instead of realizing that I deserved so much more than what my friends had settled for-- I felt like I was nothing. Like something was wrong with me. But, darling... I was off base. Because my first year of grad school, I met someone. And he made my heart shine. I didn't know my belly was an Olympic gold medalist in gymnastics. He made my tummy flip and my body calm. He held me, he kissed me, and he touched me. And I finally understood why I had to wait had to for so long. because it was always his hands that were supposed to open me up to the world of love. We fell deeply, madly, world changingly in love. But he was from a different country- and he had to go back home. To his family. To his life. Our souls never stopped crying for each other, though. And we tried to make it work long distance. We made it a whole year. But eventually- we had to face reality. And so this beautiful love story came to its last chapter. But I'll never forget what he said when we parted ways...
"we loved each other gently... and we leave each other gently."
So, even though a piece of me will always belong to him. And even though I am heart broken and sad right now.
I'll forever be grateful for my first experience with love. Because the real thing.... was worth all of those years missing out on something I simply wasn't ready for.
My heart is with you, LTC.