I don't know what I feel about you anymore. Like one moment, I see you and I start to grin like the idiot that I am. The next, I frown when I remember that you're two years younger than me and need time to grow.

Why do we allow ourselves to fall for someone whos clearly taken. Love is strong, shouldn't our will power be stronger? I feel ridiculous for falling for him. His love for her is amazing, like they're soulmates. How did I not see that?

It’s time to face the facts. He’s probably talking to so many girls right now and I’m not even worth a message back.


Dear future husband,

I'm sorry, I miss you, and I love you.

I'm sorry for my wandering thoughts...for lusting over countless men. I'm sorry for not honoring you through honoring myself. I'm sorry for not being the best person I can be roght now so that when I meet you, I can be someone you are proud of rather than ashamed of.

I miss you even though I don't know who you are yet. Perhaps I have already met you, either as a passing acquaintance or as a random stranger. Either way, I have not met you as my life's partner yet. But one thing I do know is that I miss you already...everything from your laughter and smile to your warm embrace and body next to mine as I fall asleep.

I love you so much and I hope you know that. Even when I get busy with life and forgot about you in my mind, you will always be in my heart. You will always be my man and my love for you will carry through all the days of my life. I love you my future husband.

Yours truly and forever,

Your future wife

the side of you I saw today was one I’ve rarely, if ever, seen before. but I can’t begin to tell you how much it meant to me that you knew something was wrong, and how your calm steady gaze, waiting for me to speak, gave me back the power of words. i hadn’t been able to form a coherent sentence, but you calmed me enough to explain what was going on. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. you’ll never know how much I appreciated you being there today, even for a few short minutes

Yeah I couldn't sleep last night. You won't get out of my head and my heart. Either get out or be with me.

This fantasy needs to die.

Love, why don’t I believe in you anymore??

Today I promised myself I'd tell him, face to face, the next time we see each other.

Too bad I moved across the country this year, so that won't happen for at least six months.

Somehow, I feel both better and sick to my stomach at the same time.

I'd stay awake with you any night.