I’m back in that initial everything is wonderful stage of having a crush. It’s like a factory reset or something. I feel like I can do anything.
two types of peopl you should avoid falling for:
1. someone who is very attractive
2. a natural flirt
it just so happens, i fell for a person who is both.
I make up reasons to talk to you and I try to make you laugh every time because you have a really nice smile.
I am not the jealous type, but I've been jealous lately. It's foolish, I know. I care too much. I love you, my friend. Probably more than you love me.
This week has been tiring and disappointing. Haven't seen you for awhile. I don't think you'll be there tmw or Friday. Plus we don't talk like we used to. What's left to miss?
----This is not a letter to a crush. It's a letter shouted into the void but there's not a website for that yet.----
I'm having a pretty bad night tonight. I'm really struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I've been binge watching The L Word and am barely on season 2 where they change the title screen to some awful song I miss the one from season 1. Well i've been watching it and sitting here thinking that I am never going to be in a relationship. I'm afraid of the fact that in 15 days I will be a 21 year old virgin who has never kissed anyone romantically. Yeah I got a late start realizing I was gay at 16 but I havent done jack shit about it since. Ive come out to everyone, I interact with girls, I exist on this planet. I fear that with each day that ticks by the older I become the less desierable I become. It's cute to have never been kissed at 16. It's fucking weird at 21. My 15 year old sister had a first kiss 2 years ago. What if I don't meet someone until i'm 50? What if I meet someone and i'm too scared to do anything about it? I don't want to be in the prime of my life going to work then home to my cat to watch netflix and see my friends once or twice a week for drinks. I understand the whole love yourself first thing, I do. I just don't know how to do that. In the mean time it's really fucking lonely in this life.
I think signals got crossed and the wrong guy thinks I like him that would be so uncomfortable.