Dear Shy Guy,
You stayed. You didn't have to, but you did. You chose to wait until I was finished with my turn. I never asked for you to stay. I thought of it, but I didn't wanna trouble you. Though that's just one of the reasons why I may be slowly falling for you.
When we had English class together you wrote with words that moved my heart. That made me smile, and laugh, whenever you tripped over your words. It was cute, seeing you smile and laugh with me too. It didn't help that we were both in the same table group. I got to see you everyday.
And the time you helped me, along with another friend, walk to our class because I sprained my ankle. The feeling of you close was slowly warming up my heart, and I didn't even know at the time.
Those were the few little things that you did, other than smile and say hi along the halls of our school, and I loved every minute of it. It almost felt as if you had a secret little crush on me. With the way you cared for me, and how you would stare longingly at me.
I could tell you about all of this, and how I wish we could maybe be something more, but I'm afraid that I've read the signs wrong. That maybe you just wanted to be friends. I could never tell with you, you know.
If friends is what you want, then I guess friends is what we'll be.
If you want to be more, I'll be waiting. I just hope we start before its too late.
Me, age 16: I can't wait until I'm an adult and I don't act like such an awkward weirdo in front of my crush. I'll totally figure it out by then.
Me today, age 26: OH MY GOD HERE HE COMES PRETEND TO BE NORMAL AND REMEMBER HOW TO USE WORDS
I think what sucks the most is the way you made it impossible for me to listen to a lot of my favorite love songs.
But then again, I thought I'd never get to listen to Jack Johnson after my high school sweetheart...four years later, I went to the concert and forgot that my ex even existed until my friend asked me if I ever had a boyfriend.
Here's hoping in four years, the same will happen again.
I never thought that we'd be actual friends like we are now. Am I in the twilight zone?
I was too immature and too selfish to realize how much you had to fight through your whole life. You told me yourself how little you valued yourself as a kid growing up with a single mom, poor, and always having to work harder than the other guy. You needed me to care, and I failed. Even if you never want to date me, I do hope you'll give me a second chance at being your friend, because I want to make it better.
How early is too early for me to say I'm slowly crushing more and more on you? I honestly can't tell if you're just really that affectionate/friendly or if you're flirting with intention.
I just know I like it.
Just send me a quick email if you ever considered me a friend or cared about me at all. You know my email well. I know you want me to forget about you but I can't. I believe that you hate me. If that's the case, just let me know and I'll remove you from my thoughts forever. Or at least I'll try...
It was a big let down but no answer is the answer I needed to break this toxic, going-nowhere cycle. I really thought it was you.