Oh my God. You don't know how much I really miss you. I need to see you again. It's not an option anymore. My body longs for you. My mind longs for you. My every thought is about you.
Dear Pepsi Boy,
Today I asked you (well more like say I'd kidnap you) to come on vacation with me to California (to which you have never been to). I've never seen a guy become so speechless and beet red.
My interest in you started over a dream I had of you. Naturally, I wasn’t actively pursuing anyone so of course I didn’t notice you like that. But I had a dream about you, even though I didn’t even know you, and it got me curious. My curiosity lead to discover how much we had in common. Similar personalities and temperaments, similar language and communication style, similar humor, among many other things. But you were still just a stranger to me until you finally introduced yourself. After that, I started paying more attention. I kept hearing mutual friends drop your name, whereas, they never mentioned it before. You were once distant but suddenly you were everywhere. Not only were you everywhere, you were looking at me quite deliberately. At the height of my curiosity, I noticed that you would post or say things that coincided with things that I recently said or posted. With the way my brain works, unfortunately, I took them as cues and signs. By this time, I was fully infatuated with you and convinced that you somewhat felt the same. Looking back, it’s all so silly. Again, that’s how my mind works. I take an insignificant thing and build an entire universe around it. We are similar but there were no clues, cues, or signs. I found what I wanted find. I saw what I wanted to see. When you buy a car, you suddenly notice it everywhere because you become aware of it and now you’re actually looking for it. Your mind tells you there’s a lot more of them around since you bought yours but the truth is they were always there, you just weren’t looking for them. You didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, I just viewed it as such because I was paying close attention. It’s not that I am not over you, I really am. I’m just not over how wrong I was.
I shouldn’t be making so many assumptions after seeing all your friends whispering to you before you sat down next to me that one time.
we’ve only shared a few conversations, but I look at your smile and I want so much more than these little exchanges every weekend.
I hope I’m not alone in how I feel.
I used to laugh at my friends, falling in love with guys, and caring so much what these guys thought and felt. “Losers!” I scoffed....
Now I am the biggest loser of them all! I fell so damned hard for this guy that I am about ready to lose my mind. He’s all I think and care about.
My friends, in a very loving, mild way, laugh at me.
They say karma is a bitch.
That may be.
But Love is worse.
you probably wouldn’t believe me, but I wanted to be that person for you. It actually saddens me thinking about it. I hope you find someone to take care of your heart. You deserve it.