Dear Mama,

After so many heart breaks with women who let me down... I finally found the one.

She took all the pieces of my broken heart and glued them together with her warmth. She’s so beautiful... her eyes resemble your brown eyes and how she has a amazing heart like you Mama.

I finally found the woman you told me to wait for. 

I wish you were here to see her. It saddens me but I know you are smiling from above looking at me and her.

I’m going to propose to her this Friday.

You always told me to make it something she won’t ever forget.

I have made the plans for this.

Thank you Mama for raising me as a man that my soon to be wife adores.

I love you Mama. Forever and always.

It's not that I didn't like you. In fact, I liked you a lot.

I just never expected you to somehow show any interest, and it scared me. I didn't mean to act so indifferent and push you away.

You know the book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky? There's this quote that read "We accept the love we think we deserve".

I didn't believe I deserved you.

-spv

My mom always says that she took 9 months to create my heart so nobody should be able to break it in 15 seconds. Well that failed

You’re softer when we’re alone. Gentler in your words, more liberal with your acts of kindness; amplified caring that is rarely seen in front of other people. I don’t know whether to feel reassured that you hold more affection for me than you typically let on, or disappointed that showing that affection in the presence of others is still a struggle for you. 

I don’t fully understand how I feel about you, so let’s start with what we know. I love you in some way. Mostly platonic, but there is still a smidge of romance repressed under there that drives that ache in my chest every time I look at you. And I’m trying not to feel it because I know there is no happy ending for it. You still have a lot of growing up to do and I still have a lot of self-love to learn. We’re both making progress. Regardless of the amount of progress we make alone, we are still not meant to be together, and that is the part that I’m forcing myself to get my head around. And I also know you love me in some way. Probably completely platonic, but you can’t blame me for holding out a little hope. 

Let’s move on to what I don’t know. I don’t know if you ever get these pangs of nostalgic affection for me or fleeting rushes of jealousy when I talk about other people, and I don’t think I want to know because neither option would make me feel better. Knowing you did would set me back by three years and knowing you didn’t would hurt more than this already does. I don’t know what I’m looking to gain by writing about you other than even more heartache, but I like to think I’m untangling my thoughts this way. 

And finally, I don’t know how to get over you completely. My God, I want to, because you’ve had me in an unintentional emotional chokehold since I was 15 and I am tired of feeling so much for you. But I don’t know how to stop your stupid eyelashes and your voice of honey and seeing you smile from having such an effect on me. I really don’t.

-K.F.

Apparently saying "I won't fall in love with you" ten million times in my head is not going to be very effective

I don’t know who or what either of us are looking for, but I’m ready and willing to try with you.

I think I’d be happier single.

How did we all become so obsessed with finding “the one”? Did you ever think about that?

It’s like we’ve been brainwashed to think that we can’t be happy single, like we’ve been led to believe that life is meaningless without “the one.”

I’m here to call this out as bullshit.

Yeah, some people find true love and they’re happy and that is truly great, but this doesn’t mean that the rest of us will be miserable single.

WHO SAID we can’t be happy single?

WHO SAID we cant live our lives on our own terms?

Don’t let society control the way you think.

Being happy is a choice.

I don’t miss you.

I miss the memory of who you were

If you ever did ask me out, I would probably pass out.

i'm sorry about such a long post but i had to get this off my chest.

one of the things i hate most is when expectations are laid upon a person being crushed on when they really shouldn't be. i don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but as a girl i have come across it more than once while growing up.

for example. i recently found out a guy i don't have feelings for has a crush on me, and when my friends found out too, they were all like 'you should go out with him.' and when i said 'why' they replied 'because he likes you. you should give him a chance. you might like him.'

no. i do not like him and i cannot help that. it is cruel but it is not my fault. i cannot make feelings that aren't there suddenly appear for someone no matter how hard i try. they are his feelings for him to deal with. not me. i cannot say sorry for something i haven't done wrong. i have not led him on in any way. if anything, ever since i suspected he had feelings for me i have actually been more distant with him than anyone else. if i took it any further i'd have to completely ignore him and that's just uncalled for.

if you don't feel the same way about someone, absolutely nothing should be expected of you.

i feel like we live in a society where people, especially women, are made to feel like we 'owe it' to a guy to go out with him just because that guy is crushing on us. you don't owe anything to anyone. if you don't like someone, you don't like someone. it's like we're made to feel bad for not having feelings towards someone even though it can't be helped.

'but he likes you. why don't you like him too?' 'because i don't.'

i know. i know. it sounds horrible and mean but what are you to do? you cannot force something if it's not there. i'm not suggesting you be mean to someone who is crushing on you (in fact, if they tell you they are crushing on you, you should as kindly as possible tell them you don't feel the same way). i'm just saying if you don't feel the same way there should be no expectations of you, and no guilt because you have done nothing wrong.

it just got me really annoyed because any time something like this happens, i am always made to feel guilty and always made to feel like it's down to me to do something.

'hey this guy you have treated no different from anyone else and have no feelings for has a crush on you. poor guy, what are you gonna do about it? you should go out with him anyway to make him feel better.'

it sounds ridiculous when you put it into direct terms like this doesn't it; but that's basically what people are telling you when they make out like it's your problem. people are only going to get even more hurt if you entertain their feelings and try and pretend, because the truth will come out in the end. and besides, you shouldn't feel like you have to 'settle' with someone just because they like you. there'll be other people that like you. people that you like back.

this isn't one way either. i live my life by the same rules.

if i have a crush on a guy and he doesn't feel the same way, that is my problem to deal with, and they are my emotions to unpick. i expect nothing from the guy i am crushing on because it is not his problem that i have developed feelings for him if he doesn't feel the same way.

obviously, if someone has led you to believe they like you too that is toying with someone's emotions and that is a completely different thing; but if someone hasn't given you any signs of liking you back then you can't expect anything from them.

in conclusion. when someone finds out someone they don't have feels for is crushing on them. don't make the person being crushed on feel bad about it and like they 'owe' them something.

sorry for ranting guys, and i know this might be a mean sounding and unpopular opinion but i just needed to get it off my chest.

please comment if you feel the same (or even if you don't) and let me know if any of you girls or guys have had similar experiences of everyone having expectations of you in situations like this.

it would be really interesting to know what other people think and if this is something anyone else has encountered because i feel like it's an area of 'crushing' that no one ever seems to talk about.