feelings are confusing and i can't put them into words and i just need to find a nice field to yell in

What goes away from you is not to be chased after. What comes towards you is to be embraced.

It is how well you loved and let go that determines the quality of your life.

These quotes are what I need to embrace right now. My future is coming towards me. It is clear now, and I have the ability to succeed now.

But you, you are no longer coming towards me, and I must let you go. I must continue to love those that are in my life and that want to know the depth and breadth of me.

But I must stop myself from chasing after those that don't. You lose the rich textures of me. You lose the deep and abiding joy I so often feel. You lose, because you choose to lose, and I cannot let myself hurt for someone who does not see enough value in me to make it worth it for them!

A concept:

Me. Lying down on a light blue sheet stretched out on the grass. Wearing a white tshirt that smells faintly of laundry detergent. My hair, somewhat wavy still from the shower, splayed out behind me. Feeling lazy, hazy with the warmth of the sun.

And you. Leaning back on your elbows and absentmindedly placing grapes into your mouth every few moments or so. Plucking nearby dandelions and assigning them to places in my hair, your fingers lingering for a couple extra moments around my temples. Squinting into the sun.

We have nowhere to be. We don't know what time it is. We have nothing to talk about. We just are.

i want to take you to the ocean so you can see my love for you, if it were something you could see, hear, smell, feel and immerse yourself in.

last night I cried when I thought of how much I love you. I love you so much but I guess you don’t feel the same.

it just really sucks when you love someone who doesn’t love you back

how do I just move on

I want to so I can be back to my happy self

everyone wants to be happy but I just can’t get you out of my head

you are all of the things i've ever wanted and it just hit me like a train this week.

you make me laugh. and i make you laugh. and you actually like to listen to me laugh.

you care about the things i care about. but not just on the surface. like our deepest passions are the same.

you are going to be a really good dad. and a really good husband to whoever you end up with.

you're excited about your career and you light up with the light of endless possibility when you talk about the future.

you are kind and you see me. you're gentle and you're wise.

you are a firecracker.

but yet, if something ever happened between us, it would be hard.

because you care for people so deeply. i've never had someone truly care about me in the capacity i know you would.

i imaging your gentleness would scare me at first. and your emotions would freak me out. and your tenderness, admiration, and affection would embarrass me.

i would have to seriously fight the shame that i've struggled with for as long as i can remember.

then maybe, maybe you're also exactly what i need. despite my fear.

unfortunately, this is all in my head and this is just a phase. nothing will happen between us.

I only want you. I don't want: a prize, a trophy; a female, a girl, a woman; a friend, a girlfriend, a love interest, a romantic partner or a lifelong companion. I want you; whatever you are, be it all or none of the above, that is what I want. I only want you.

Love,

By Storm

I really just wanna hold hands with a guy. Probably sounds dumb to some but I’ve never done it before. Just to have our fingers interlock and take a walk around the block. All I want to have someones hand to hold in mine and we lose track of time walking around, smiles on our faces, laughing and just being happy.

He wanted a hi five. I slipped my fingers between his. I’m a mess.

I want to thank you for making me feel again. For enabling me to like someone wholeheartedly, for assuring me that it is okay to smile and laugh, and for helping me realize that the greatest thing I can be with someone is my absolute self. I don’t know where we’re headed, or if we’re even headed anywhere, but I am utterly fortunate that our paths have crossed. The world is good, sometimes.