March 5, 2018. I shook her hand. She shook my heart, my mind and my life.

You came along out of nowhere, at the worst possible time. Made me question my whole life in a matter of hours. Not as fun as it sounds.

So I knew that with you, it was all or nothing. No mere friendship was or is possible. My feelings for you are way too intense for that.

I knew all that going in, so I went all in. All out. You said we can be friends - no, we can’t. I won’t be mere friends with the woman of my dreams. 

No regrets. I won’t apologize for telling you how amazing you are to me.

But I still yearn for you with indescribable passion.

You came out of nowhere.

I’ve never met someone as kind-hearted, as faithful and funny and genuine and mature. You’d be just right. I wouldn’t be afraid of loving you, I think.

And for the first time, I would have said something. I would tell you, I think. As scary as it is, I would. If only, if only, if only.

But the time isn’t right, and I don’t want to hurt you.

So let’s just be friends, okay? Good, good friends.

I have social anxiety, so talking isn't my strong point. But talking with you makes me smile. And although I stumble over my words a few times, you never laugh at me. You are patient and you understand what I'm trying to get across. Sometimes finishing my train of thought, or explaining a concept that I was trying to convey in a more simple way. Talking has become a bit easier when you're around. Although I'm a much better writer, than I am a speaker, I still never know how to perfectly describe you.

i'm dead tired and i can't stop thinking about how much i want to cuddle with you

Considering my awkwardness, and your awkwardness, we could make some people really uncomfortable.

Looked her up on social media, again.

Discovered another insanely cool thing about her, again.

Saw her frustratingly pretty little stunning face, again.

I have to not do this, again.

I swear your smile can cure anything, your laugh can warm even the coldest of hearts, and even the shortest time in your company can make someone's day.

I am so privileged to be able to make you laugh so easily. The sound is like golden bells and sunshine, reminding me of all the good that is in this world.

- green eyes

I’d marry you tomorrow in parachute pants and flip flops.

~My sun, your stars

I used to think that you were dropping subtle hints. It all made so much sense back then. I still don’t know whether the hints stopped or I just woke up and realized they were never there in the first place.